We begin this week with a quarterback of an undefeated top ten team, and a diet to “die” for, and if you follow it, you just might!
It turns out that Will Levis the starry QB of the undefeated and No.7 ranked Kentucky Wildcats has some, shall we say, unusual eating habits.
He eats bananas including the entire peel, and before he drinks his coffee he stirs in mayonnaise instead of cream. Must be a French thing!!
When asked why, he gave one of the understatements of the year saying innocently, “I have a very sophisticated pallet.” Wow, if you say so Will.
This weekend, let’s see which teams based on its performance could use a better nutritional balance, and which perfectly meshed its protein and carbohydrates generating a big victory.
North Carolina State’s Devin Leary (13) prepares to throw the ball during the first half of an NCAA college football game against Connecticut in Raleigh, N.C., Saturday, Sept. 24, 2022.
No. 10 NC State at No. 5 Clemson
(Ch. 5, 7:30 p.m.)
In 1899 William McKinley was residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue when the Tar Heels and the Tigers first strapped on its helmets in a game that was won by Clemson in a 24-0 whitewash.
It turned out to be a forerunner of the lopsided 90-year old rivalry, as the Tigers have compiled a commanding 59-29-1 series advantage.
But last year NC State finally ended its eight game series losing streak, and that victory has instilled a Barak Obama feeling of “Yes, we can,” around the city of Raleigh (named after Sir Walter) that this veteran Wolfpack bunch just might be able to howl its way to the top of the ACC Atlantic Division and earn its first invite into the ACC Championship game.
But make no mistake, the task of defeating the “Sons of Roman Gabriel” in Death Valley is nearly as monumental as the Ukrainians defeating Putin’s war machine, as Dabo Swinney’s footballers lose a home game about as often as the Connecticut women’s basketball team loses on its home court, or Peter Falk, aka “Columbo,” fails to solve the crime.
Take a peek at these Warren Buffet-like numbers: Clemson is riding a nation’s best home winning streak of 36 in-a row, and have run up a mind blowing 55-1 tally at Memorial Stadium.
Its last loss in Death Valley occurred at the hands of the Pittsburgh Panthers on November 12, 2016, the final year of the Obama presidency.
And during Swinney’s Saban-like 14-plus seasons roaming the Tigers sideline, he has compiled a 154-36 record of Baryshnikov perfection, or as Mr. Rodgers might ask, “Can you say awesome?!
Despite those daunting numbers, the Wolfpack and its faithful are excited for the challenge.
On offense, its rocket armed QB, Devin Leary is the indisputable commander of these “Sons of Russell Wilson” and the gun slinging conductor is assisted by a quartet of earth movers, led by Michael Allen, and Demie Sumo-Karngbaye, while receivers Thayer Thomas, Devin Carter, and Porter Rooks provide comforting glue-fingered targets for an offense, that hasn’t burned as brightly as last season’s North Star brilliance and currently sits 69th in the nation.
On D, the aggressive anvil-pounding “Sons of Ray Agnew,” the nation’s eighth (11 pts a game) stingiest, led by backer Drake Thomas, safety Taner Ingle, and corner Derrick Pitts, stone runners, and corrals passes with the efficiency as an Amazon delivery driver.
But upon closer inspection, those gaudy Botox and steroid infused numbers might be fool’s gold based on a schedule stuffed by statistic fattening cupcakes.
Dabo Swinney, like most coaches has very sensitive hearing, and despite his future HOF coaching resume, which includes a pair of national championships, the Alabama native is like a stalking puma whenever he feels that his team, and brand, are being taken for granted as more of an afterthought, that is if you consider the number five AP ranking dismissive.
But if Clemson is going to capture its seventh consecutive ACC title, and earn an invite to its seventh final four playoff, its bazooka armed QB D.J. Uiagalelei must maintain the same freewheeling consistency that he displayed last week, and the jury is very much out as to whether he is capable of repeating such a stellar performance.
The Tigers field general is assisted by its starry tailback Will Shipley, who gallops at a clip of 7-yards a pop, along with his partner Phil Mafah, while receivers Beaux Collins, Antonio Williams, and Joseph Ngata are solid reliable chain moving targets.
On D, the “Sons of Brian Dawkins” featuring backer Trenton Simpson, safety Tyler Venables, and end K.J. Henry, have been like a helmet wearing Jekyll and Hyde, stoning runners, but as leaky as the noses of a room ridden by flu patients defending against the pass, sitting a near bottom feeding 104th in the nation, which may prove to be an Achilles Heel for the Tigers.
As much as we’d like to say that this game will be an ACC changing of the guard, we’re staying with the “Boys from Howard’s Rock” to hold fast with its Death Valley winning streak, as Clemson shows its mettle in this matchup of top 10 teams.
Alabama wide receiver Ja’Corey Brooks (7) celebrates with running back Jahmyr Gibbs (1) after Brooks’ touchdown against Vanderbilt during the first half of an NCAA college football game Saturday, Sept. 24, 2022, in Tuscaloosa, Ala.
No. 2 Alabama at No. 20 Arkansas
(Ch. 4, 3:30 p.m.)
Hey Nick, welcome to October!
With apologies to Homer, and I don’t mean Red Sox announcer Joe Castiglione, Alabama’s “Titletown” maestro is embarking on a testy three-week “Odyssey” consisting of Arkansas, Texas A&M, and Tennessee, an SEC gauntlet that would shiver the timbers of most headmen.
But Nick Saban, who has captured an insurmountable seven national titles, loves the chess match of this type of challenge, especially when the bloviating commentariat softly whispers that this 2022 edition of the Tide is showing some vulnerability.
With apologies to Shakespeare, instead of burying Caesar, “Bam!” like the classic 1970’s Mother Nature versus margarine commercials, Saban and the Tide will storm out of the tunnel spewing Old Testament fire and brimstone, eventually breaking its opponent into its best imitation of Roberto “No Mas” Duran and suddenly all dooms day doubters are silenced.
On offense, the “Sons of Bart Starr” are commanded by its unflappable, and impeccable Heisman winning QB, Bryce Young, who hits his target with the same precision as NASA zooming a rocket into an asteroid named Dimorphos, a mere 7-million miles from earth.
The maestro of the nation’s fifth highest (48 pts) scoring eleven is assisted by a trio of roadrunners; Jase McClellan, Jahmyr Gibbs, the transfer from Georgia Tech, and Jamarion Miller, who till the fields as the nation’s tenth best rushing attack, averaging 235-yards a game.
But with apologies to Jesse Jackson, the “issue” has been a receiving corps featuring Traeshon Holden, and Georgia transfer Jermaine Burton, that is still searching for its breakout identity.
It has only a single completion of over 40-yards attached to its resume, and one of the key reasons for that lack of big play production lies with the injury Louisville transfer Tyler Harrell, one of the fastest players in the nation, who has yet to make his debut in a Crimson Tide uniform.
On D, the ferocious and disruptive “Sons of Lee Roy Jordan,” the nation’s third (7-pts.) stingiest, anchored by its All-World linebacker Will Anderson (7.5 tfls-4.5 sacks), and his partners Henry To’oto’o, and Jaylen Moody, attack with the same intensity as the Iranian morality police over what they deemed to be a poorly worn scarf, and create a barrier that is harder to crack than China’s Great Wall.
In Fayetteville, coach Sam Pittman, the Razorback’s “Modelo Man,” who is the epitome of the beer’s slogan “the fighting spirit of the underdog,” said he welcomes the challenge of Alabama marching into to Razorback Stadium, which will adorned in cardinal red, as its headman has called for a first-ever “Red Out.”
On offense, the “Sons of Bill Montgomery” are commanded by QB KJ Jefferson, and with apologies to George, has “moved on up” becoming one of the best leaders in college football, and the lynchpin behind the football renaissance that is occurring in Fayetteville, as Arkansas has won 8 of its last 10.
The fearless dual-threat marksman, who is tougher than a $10 steak, is assisted by a quartet of quality targets featuring Jadon Haselwood, and Matt Lander, while its starry tailback Rocket Sanders, chews yardage like Hurricane Ian chewed the Florida coast, sitting third in the nation averaging 127-yards a game.
On D, the “Sons of Billy Ray Smith” have, with apologies to Charles Dickens, been a “tale of two cities.”
Its front seven led by backers Bumper Pool, Drew Sanders, and tackle Jordan Domineck, lead the nation in sacks with 20, but its secondary rests fifth from the bottom surrendering over 300-yards a game, which against Bama’s Bryce Young is a Wild Bill Hickok dead man’s hand.
In his sixteen stellar seasons in Tuscaloosa, Nick Saban is a perfect 15-0 against the Razorbacks, and in the early dusk of Saturday afternoon’s “Red Out” game, it will be red eyes for the Hogs faithful, as the coach from “Titletown” makes it a Sweet 16 over the “Sons of Frank Broyles.”
Mississippi head coach Lane Kiffin watches during the second half of an NCAA college football game against Tulsa in Oxford, Miss., Saturday, Sept. 24, 2022. Mississippi won 35-27.
No. 7 Kentucky at No. 14 Mississippi
(ESPN, Noon)
In the land of thoroughbreds, Lexington, Kentucky, which is the second most renown Lexington in America, the number seven rules for the footballers of the Bluegrass State’s flagship university.
Kentucky has secured the No. 7 position in the national rankings, and the last time it reached those “Sunday Silence” heights, Jimmy Carter was in the first year of his administration – 1977. Hence the magic 7’s!
The architect of this pigskin renaissance is coach Mark Stoops, the winningest coach in school history, who remarkably has led the Cats to a pair of 10-win seasons in its last four, by molding a hard edged aggressive, and disciplined squad, that is reflective of his no nonsense personality.
In a note; his brother Bob is the winningest coach in Oklahoma history, not bad for a couple of kids from Youngstown, Ohio.
But with apologies to Diana Ross, it’s been an “upside down” year for the Wildcats offense, who traditionally run as well as Billy Rodgers, but this year has been weaker than the gubernatorial campaign of republican Geoff Diehl in the other Commonwealth, sputtering like an early seventies AMC Gremlin spewing oil all over the highway, slipping and sliding its way to a woeful bottom feeding 81-yards a game. Yikes!
But it gets a “get out of jail card” with the return from a team suspension of its starry tailback Chris Rodriguez, who last season cranked out nearly 1400-yards.
Fortunately, its aerial attack, commanded by QB Will Levis, who luxuriates by lasering on his game breaking targets; Dane Key, Barion Brown, and Tayvion Robinson, with nearly the same precision as the engraver of the British Open Claret Jug, and his stellar play has played a huge rule in the Cats unblemished record.
On D, the “Sons of Lou Michaels,” the nation’s eleventh (13 pts) stingiest, attacks behind its linebacking trio of Jaquez Jones, DeAndre Square, and Jordan Wright, and hits with the force of Iranian President Raisi’s security forces against the street protesters.
In Oxford, Mississippi, home of Pulitzer and Nobel Prize winning author William Faulkner, Ole’ Miss headman Lane Kiffin, who is 14-3 over his last 17, and riding a 12-game home winning streak in Vaught-Hemingway Stadium, is writing his own pigskin best seller.
But instead of a quarterback, his protagonist revolves around the Rebels Kubota-like earth moving assault, the nation’s fourth best, averaging 280-yards a game, and covering more turf than the grounds crew at Fenway Park, led by its starry tailback Zach Evans, a TCU transfer, and his partner Quinshon Judkins.
But what makes this such an eye opener, is that Kiffin who has built his reputation as an innovative a Wallenda-esque aerial circus magician, had always eschewed the running attack with the same disdain as Serena Williams has toward an umpire if a call doesn’t go her way.
On offense, the “Sons of Archie Manning,” under the direction of its dual-threat USC transfer field general Jaxson Dart has been solid, with assists by a trio of high-cotton wideouts; Jonathan Mingo, Malik Heath, and tight end Michael Trigg.
On D, the “Sons of Patrick Willis” the nation’s sixth (10-points) stingiest led by Troy Brown, Austin Keys, and safety Tysheem Johnson, has been as solid as a Roger Federer backhand kissing the line in all phases of the game.
This is the 43rd hoedown between these teams with the first occurring during the war year of 1944, with the Rebels, who have won the last two in overtime, holding a 28-14-1 series advantage.
On Saturday in Oxford, often referred to as the “Cultural Mecca of the South,” we think that Kiffin’s home winning streak climbs to a baker’s dozen, and once again with apologies to “Elvis” a cold, cold “Kentucky Rain” dampens the Wildcat’s spirits, as Ole Miss wins its third in a row against the Cats.
Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy speaks with an official during a timeout in the first half of the team’s NCAA college football game against Arkansas-Pine Bluff on Saturday, Sept. 17, 2022, in Stillwater, Okla. Oklahoma State won 63-7.
No. 9 Oklahoma State at No. 16 Baylor
(FOX, 3:30 p.m.)
Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy has spent more time as a Cowboy than John Wayne.
The 55-year old headman, who is tied with Utah’s Kyle Whittingham as the nation’s second longest tenured coaches, are embarking on in their 19th season, only Iowa’s Kirk Ferentz, beginning his 24th has been on the job longer.
But what sets Gundy apart, making him a legitimate challenge to “The Duke” is the fact that he not only quarterbacked the Cowboys for four years, but was an assistant for another ten, before he was handed the head ball coach reins.
And when all those years are tallied it shows that he has spent more than half his life involved with football in Stillwater.
On offense, the “Sons of Barry Sanders” directed by anther Sanders QB Spencer, its steel tempered dual-threat four-year starter with assists by a quartet of chain moving receivers; led by Braydon Johnson and Brennan Presley, and mixed with its primary road runner Dominc Richardson, comprise the second highest (49-pts.) scoring band in the land.
But upon a closer inspection, it’s easy to see that those Bernie Madoff-like numbers have grown as stout as Jackie Gleason playing Minnesota Fats in the classic movie “The Hustler” by ingesting a trio of cupcakes, which makes this game against Baylor a true test for the Pokes.
And yet, despite its Charmin-like softy of a schedule, the Cowboys D, featuring backers Mason Cobb, Xavier Benson, and safety Jason Taylor, have struggled (103rd) mightily, in defending the opposition’s aerial attacks, which doesn’t bode well in this huge Big 12 showdown.
Baylor coach Dave Aranda, and his Big 12 defending champion Bears, are much more battle tested, which gives these “Sons Del Shofner” a decidedly big advantage, as it welcomes the Cowboys to Waco, the former home to David Koresh and the Branch Davidians.
QB Blake Shapen is the commander of a slowly maturing Bears attack, with assists from a trio of Allstate receivers Gavin Holmes, Hal Presley, and tight end Ben Sims, while tailbacks Richard Reese, Craig Wiliams, and Qualan Jones represent a trio of defense stressors.
On D, the “Sons of Mike Singletary” featuring safety Al Walcott, its disruptive backer Matt Jones, corner AJ McCarty, and tackle Siaki Ika, stone runners, but have shown some Washington Monument cracking in defending against the pass, which is not the best recipe playing Ok State,
This is a tough game on which to get a handle, but because of the Pokes Gleason-esque schedule, we’re going with Aranda’s Bears, who let the rest of the Big 12 know that the defending champs have no intention of being one hit wonders like; “Question Mark and the Mysterians” who gave us their 1966 classic: “96 Tears”
Last week: 3-1
Season record: 10-6
